Grad School hopeful

Help Get me to grad school. I am working on finalizing my admission into grad school for human services. Help me help people. It’s that simple. Click the link and please donate. Peace. 


“_____ Goals”¬†

I had a conversation with my partner about the recent turn of events with your local “hipster” trends. The new trend is wanting what someone else has. Want what someone else has instead of truly enjoying what’s for you. 

Relationship goals, best friend goals, closet goals, even life goals have become the newest phrase to slide off the tongues of people who find the lives, possessions and relationships of others more appealing than their own.

Now, my partner quickly refuted my claims and assured me that people don’t think as deeply into the phrase as I do. A lot of times they want what appears on the surface. She stated that she interpreted it as more like a phrase of admiration. After careful consideration I see how one could hold such an opinion and I don’t dispute it as a possibility either.

However, I see it to be a rather ungrateful phrase. A phrase of envy and ignorance. Ignorance in the sense that we know not the struggle of the next man or woman even if pictures tell us a happy story.

One man or woman’s struggle often comes at a costly price. Through adversity comes reward. But again, some people may not be thinking about what’s behind those Facebook and Instagram pictures of happiness.

To those people I say admire what is yours. Appreciate what is yours. And if and when you see something worth admiration, strive for it with the intent to perfect it for you, yourself and your situation. The best life is the one you are living. Sometimes what we want doesn’t want us or isn’t for us. Sometimes us wanting it doesn’t mean we should have it. 

“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours.” -J. Cole

Success loading…

In August I got a job that required me to almost always work 7 days a week for 8-12 hours a day. I was exhausted everyday but I had never seen my bank account look so good. I was making and saving so much money that I no longer had to do the shameful login to my mobile banking app on Monday morning after a weekend of spending. The fact that I was able to save hundreds of dollars each time I got paid kept me from continuously complaining about how sleepy and over worked I was.

About two and a half months in the contract for my position was negotiated and we were awarded a raise. However, the supervisors began to treat the staff like slaves. And looking back I’m sure they had always treated us that way but money had kept me blinded. I didn’t want to complain but going into the third month I started to feel like I was selling my soul. I talked to my coworkers in my office and other offices and they too shared my feelings. I felt like less of a human and I felt under appreciated for all of the work I had been contributing.

I found another job and put in my two weeks. Although the money was good I had a goal to become a teacher. I had to make a decision on whether I wanted to follow my passion and take a major pay cut or continue being over worked and well paid. I choose to continue my path to become a teacher.

Every week that I get my paycheck I’m extremely dissatisfied. I’m not saving as much nor making as much as I did a few months ago. This situation I’m sure happens to so many people. Where we come to a point that we have to choose whether to be successful in terms of making a ton of money or being successful in a way that means something to us. I chose the latter. As crazy as it sounds being successful for me isn’t a union job with great negotiations of pay and benefits. My definition of success looks like reaching the goals that I set and feeling well worth the work that I do. On my road to becoming a teacher I already feel that this sacrifice of money has been worth it. I have a classroom of young boys who I absolutely adore and who I feel benefit more from my presence than I could have ever imagined. My road to teaching is far from over but I’m glad that I chose my version of success for right now.

Why is it that so many people are forced to chose between doing something they love and doing something that pays well? I miss the money but I damn sure don’t miss the abuse. 

Self Trust

It’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything on this blog. There’s been family issues, car issues, work issues, money issues, school issues etc. However, when life gets thick for me I always refer back to my writing. A time where I actually had time and things ran smoothly for me. Here I am hoping that the time for smooth sailing has come once again.

Since June of 2015 I’ve had over 5 different jobs in a number of fields and there’s no telling how many interviews I’ve been on. Since that time I have also acquired an Associate’s and a Bachelor’s degree in a field that I thought would carry me into the career of my dreams. WRONG. Life threw a curveball and at one of these jobs I found my calling, Teaching. So, since this realization I’ve been taking the necessary steps to rebuild my game plan but also land me into the career field where I want to be. 
Often times I found myself looking at my peers and seeing how some of their lives seemed to be “on track” and running “right.” WRONG. The best advice that I could give to myself looking back is to “never judge your progress based on someone else’s timeline.” 

The best thing for me and any person to do is to focus on yourself and your strengths and reaching your goals. At the end of it all everything leads back to YOU. I’ll admit that I became worried when I graduated twice and didn’t immediately have a job lined up and didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do. But that was ok. What works for someone else didn’t work for me. Only I can pick and choose the perfect path to guide me to my goals. 

Right now I have an outline of a plan (nothing is ever perfect) and I’m executing that plan one step at a time. I’m starting yet another job but this time I feel passionate about the field, the people and the work. That’s something that I’ve never experienced before. I’m excited for new peaks, highs, lows, goals, and success. I’m going up. I just have to trust myself. 

If it ain’t one thing it’s another¬†

“If it ain’t one thing it’s another”
The phrase that speaks volumes about destruction that takes place when you feel like you’ve taken one step forward only to be knocked two, three or four steps back flat on your ass with dusty back pockets. 

I’m the unlucky gal currently sitting on the ground with dusty pockets. No worries, I’ll be dusting myself off come the end of the week but right now I can’t help but to dwell on my list of unfortunate events. The purpose of this post is to give myself a pep talk and to possibly lift the spirits of anyone who might read this. 

In life people always stress how unimportant money is. “It can’t buy love, memories” etc. well dammit money sure can do a whole lot of other things that makes all of those topics possible. And it sure does become a factor when you don’t have enough to take care of what seems to be simple necessities in life. I’m a broke college poet. I work full time and go to school full time and I never have money. I know plenty of people who can relate to that. But I’m okay with being broke as long as my bills are paid. It’s the mishaps that come up when I have no money and the bills are paid that seem to sit just a little uncomfortably with me. For instance, I paid all of my bills early this month. This week I’m broke with just enough for lunch and gas. And then, the car breaks down.

There I was this morning sitting on the side of the boulevard. Across from a smoking vehicle MATHIS. Gravel under my shoes and ants attempting to crawl all over me. Of course I was upset because I’m still on a probationary period for my new job and I have school later tonight. Not to mention I am supposed to work overtime tomorrow and have class again at night as well. Needless to say I’m a busy woman but nothing gets done if I don’t have a car. And the car doesn’t get fixed if I don’t have the funds. 

Sounds like a lot of complaining but actually I’ve looked on the bright side of all this. I work and go to school and needed a day off. The extra shifts this week will cover my current call out. And I’m using the day to complete home errands and write. Which for me is what I hope will lead me to some money eventually. So, personal time equals more writing. Writing equals full blog, more content and a happy me! 

The energy in the world has a very mysterious way of working itself out but nothing is ever ALL BAD. And if it is, it’s not for long. 

An offer I couldn’t refuse

An offer I couldn’t refuse

I work for one of the top rental car companies in the nation. I only had the job last year for about three weeks when I got into my car accident. I was gone for about 4 months and even though they were not obligated to, they held my position. When I was cleared to begin working again I knew for sure I would be going back there. I somewhat felt like I owed them something.

When I got back new positions throughout the company started to open up and some of them I was qualified for. They would count as a promotion and the pay rate was significantly higher than what I was currently making. And as a broke college student who am I to turn down more money? I went on two interviews, the first position had great hours and fantastic pay, I really wanted it. I found out the day of the interview that one missed question caused me not to get the job. I was pretty downed about it.
The other interview was less than a week later and it was working at a much larger branch but one that had not received the best reviews from people who worked there. I was already biased.

I went on the interview and the atmosphere at the place was not something I thought I could adapt to. Then, the pay rate and the schedule. Everything was even more perfect than I could have imagined. If fit with my school schedule and I would be learning way more in the company work in this position. I was hesitant because it was a ways from home and I wasn’t sure I would have a car by the time I started.

The day after the interview, I got the call. Needless to say I took the position. Still working it until this day and I’ve just gotten my first raise. What can I say? They made me an offer I just couldn’t refuse.

Where’s the money in that?

When I was 20 and realized that I was having set backs in life and would possibly not be graduating with my 2012 class, I started looking for my “calling in life.” Something to get me the same benefits as a degree but with less effort and less time. At 23 and a half I realized that comparing yourself to your peers and those around you is a terrible way to live. You have to do what it is that YOU want and that YOU are passionate about. I decided that I’m going to chase any and every dream I have. I’ve always been a writer. But the older I get the more I realized that there’s no real money in my field, unless you strike it big! So, for me, a broke college student, striking it big seems unlikely, at least right now. So, my plan? Polish my craft as carefully and as much as I possibly can through blogs and independent projects. In the mean time, I’ll make money in every way possible. Ive had some interesting job offers that could very well turn into careers but I feel like I’m subconsciously holding out for my passion. I find myself accepting almost every offer in hopes that the well paying salary will be enough to drive me into the arms of passion for that field and eventually I’ll be happy with what I can get. But that’s just wishful thinking. And this is turning into an unexpected rant. Peace be with you all.