Grad School hopeful

Help Get me to grad school. I am working on finalizing my admission into grad school for human services. Help me help people. It’s that simple. Click the link and please donate. Peace. 


A note to a writer

I’ve always considered myself a writer. I’ve never needed anyone or anything to validate my success as a writer or my title as one. However, lately I’ve been thinking about what I could do to help improve my talent and craft. I started reading blogs and articles on how to become a better blogger and it appears to be somewhat helpful. Advice from bloggers included things like: 
1. Reference other bloggers

2. Follow other blogs and comment

3. Post frequently 

4. Post about topics that are interesting

5. Don’t forget to use tags

All of those seem pretty easy to follow because I genuinely love writing. My biggest obstacles when it comes to completing a post are time and prompt ideas. I never know exactly what I want to write about, ever! I spend a lot of time searching for topics and then grow tired and just neglect to post altogether. Time is an obstacle because of school and work and writing space. Almost all of my post come from my phone. While I’m working on getting a laptop I hate how time consuming it is for me to type a post and format it from my phone.

Hopefully, in due time I can pick up on my audience, my attention to other writers, and increasing my ideas for writing topics. Here’s to becoming a better writer!  

90s baby 

At my age I’m what many people would call a 90s baby. The generation of real RnB and nickelodeon when it was at its peak. The 90s were the greatest years of my life and the lives of most of my peers. No true responsibilities, no bills, no politics and penny candy was still a thing along with 25 cent bags of chips. One thing that I realize about the 90s is how straight forward the music was. The lyrics to some of my favorite songs were as simple as my life back then. Love songs were exactly that. There was no misconstruing a man’s confession of love because he blurted out the word “bitch” when he said it. I can’t say the same for half the stuff on the radio today. Don’t get me wrong, I listen to some of the new age RnB but 90s music is the true definition of feel good music… for me at least. Make me a 90s playlist and put it on repeat.  

Criminalized at youth

I had the pleasure of reading a fellow blogger’s post titled “The Plight of the Safe Black Man” and with her many well made points there is one in particular that stands out to me the most, “All too often Black men (boys, girls and women as well) are criminalized. Criminalized at work, in school, in the neighborhood and on the news.”

I see this everyday in my place of employment. I’m a behavioral health worker in an urban school in Philadelphia. The school demographic is primarily Black and Latino students and a small percentage being non Black or Latino. Many of the parents of the Latino students use their children as translators when it comes to interacting with school staff. I watch as staff belittle these students and their families due to a lack of understanding.

I have worked in urban schools before and I saw the same treatment of Black and Brown students in contrast to their non Black peers.

As a behavioral health worker I observe and analyze the treatment, triggers, and behavior of not only my students but any students that I come in contact with. There is a pattern. When Black and brown students misbehave they are left to roam the hallways and rarely is action taken to redirect or encourage the student to turn back to class. In many cases they are deemed a lost cause. This being the case, teachers are giving students the boot at the first sight of a student’s disruption and have little regard if they complete classwork or learn that day.

In a much different scenario non Black or brown students are approached by one and sometimes two teachers at a time. School staff list out the rewards and learning opportunities that children will miss if they do not return to class. The staff use bargaining and whatever it takes to make sure these students properly transition back into their classes. Black and brown students are criminalized in the most shameful ways. I have a class of 11 “behaviorally challenged” boys. The second that a few of them step foot in the school their every step is repeated across walkie talkies with staff being warned of their arrival. They are either bombarded by staff who look for myself and my co-worker to “deal” with the students or completely ignored because no one wants the responsibility.

The treatment that Black and brown students receive shares little similarity to those who are non Black. It sickens me that even from a young age they are criminalized and degraded and given up on. These reactions are not uncommon. These students are taught that they do not belong in general population and sent to ES classrooms or SpEd classrooms. They have little to no engagement with their peers for recess and stay in one class for 90% of their day. They are taught in schools that they are different. Their classrooms are contracted out by companies like mine because no one wants to interact with these children or has the training to do so. They are seen as aggressive and pose a threat to non Black staff who do not possess the social competency to interact with the urban students or their families. The system seems to be a setup for black and brown children.

Self Trust

It’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything on this blog. There’s been family issues, car issues, work issues, money issues, school issues etc. However, when life gets thick for me I always refer back to my writing. A time where I actually had time and things ran smoothly for me. Here I am hoping that the time for smooth sailing has come once again.

Since June of 2015 I’ve had over 5 different jobs in a number of fields and there’s no telling how many interviews I’ve been on. Since that time I have also acquired an Associate’s and a Bachelor’s degree in a field that I thought would carry me into the career of my dreams. WRONG. Life threw a curveball and at one of these jobs I found my calling, Teaching. So, since this realization I’ve been taking the necessary steps to rebuild my game plan but also land me into the career field where I want to be. 
Often times I found myself looking at my peers and seeing how some of their lives seemed to be “on track” and running “right.” WRONG. The best advice that I could give to myself looking back is to “never judge your progress based on someone else’s timeline.” 

The best thing for me and any person to do is to focus on yourself and your strengths and reaching your goals. At the end of it all everything leads back to YOU. I’ll admit that I became worried when I graduated twice and didn’t immediately have a job lined up and didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do. But that was ok. What works for someone else didn’t work for me. Only I can pick and choose the perfect path to guide me to my goals. 

Right now I have an outline of a plan (nothing is ever perfect) and I’m executing that plan one step at a time. I’m starting yet another job but this time I feel passionate about the field, the people and the work. That’s something that I’ve never experienced before. I’m excited for new peaks, highs, lows, goals, and success. I’m going up. I just have to trust myself. 

If it ain’t one thing it’s another¬†

“If it ain’t one thing it’s another”
The phrase that speaks volumes about destruction that takes place when you feel like you’ve taken one step forward only to be knocked two, three or four steps back flat on your ass with dusty back pockets. 

I’m the unlucky gal currently sitting on the ground with dusty pockets. No worries, I’ll be dusting myself off come the end of the week but right now I can’t help but to dwell on my list of unfortunate events. The purpose of this post is to give myself a pep talk and to possibly lift the spirits of anyone who might read this. 

In life people always stress how unimportant money is. “It can’t buy love, memories” etc. well dammit money sure can do a whole lot of other things that makes all of those topics possible. And it sure does become a factor when you don’t have enough to take care of what seems to be simple necessities in life. I’m a broke college poet. I work full time and go to school full time and I never have money. I know plenty of people who can relate to that. But I’m okay with being broke as long as my bills are paid. It’s the mishaps that come up when I have no money and the bills are paid that seem to sit just a little uncomfortably with me. For instance, I paid all of my bills early this month. This week I’m broke with just enough for lunch and gas. And then, the car breaks down.

There I was this morning sitting on the side of the boulevard. Across from a smoking vehicle MATHIS. Gravel under my shoes and ants attempting to crawl all over me. Of course I was upset because I’m still on a probationary period for my new job and I have school later tonight. Not to mention I am supposed to work overtime tomorrow and have class again at night as well. Needless to say I’m a busy woman but nothing gets done if I don’t have a car. And the car doesn’t get fixed if I don’t have the funds. 

Sounds like a lot of complaining but actually I’ve looked on the bright side of all this. I work and go to school and needed a day off. The extra shifts this week will cover my current call out. And I’m using the day to complete home errands and write. Which for me is what I hope will lead me to some money eventually. So, personal time equals more writing. Writing equals full blog, more content and a happy me! 

The energy in the world has a very mysterious way of working itself out but nothing is ever ALL BAD. And if it is, it’s not for long. 

Two blogs, one author

I absolutely love writing I assume like everyone else that has ever written on or visited WordPress for any reason. I am not biased in the types of writing that I enjoy but I will say that my personal favorite is poetry. I recently created an additional poetry blog and created a concept to go along with it. check out The purpose of the second blog is to showcase my original poetry, while the purpose of this one is just general things I wish to discuss with whomever will read them. I found that in the short two day period that I’ve had the second blog I’ve nonchalantly neglected this blog. I ceased on generating ideas and topics to even talk about. I felt bad. As if I had abandoned one of my children. How could I? Now, I’m working toward a new goal. My goal is to find balance within and for my writing. To topple between both blogs evenly. I mean words are endless and my brain never stops working (Writer’s block doesn’t count because my brain is working at that stage it’s just not organizing the thoughts to place them anywhere). Besides, who’s to say it can’t be done? 
Here’s to my two blogs!